How perfume has helped me get through hard times
Last year has been quite challenging for me as my mother quite unexpectedly passed away. As perfume was a subject we liked to discuss together it has been hard to test new fragrances or buy new scents. It was something very dear to her heart. The last subject we discussed together was perfume as I had just given her a small bottle of Cacharel Eden which she loved. I used to give her all kinds of perfumes which she really enjoyed wearing, some of her favorites being Estée Lauder Beautiful and the original Miss Dior.
I have used many rose centered perfumes last year to bring me some solace and help me with my grief. Guerlain Nahema extrait has been one of the scents I have used most. I found the discontinued Nahema pure perfume in a spray tester bottle fortunately for a reasonable price. One of the fragrances I bought last year was Paul Smith Rose, a very natural smelling and inexpensive tea rose. I like to spray it around me lavishly from time to time.
Apart from bringing some comfort, perfumes have brought me joy as well last year. Especially new scents created by independent perfumers like Envoyage Perfumes Rainmaker made by Shelley Waddington which introduced me to her new hometown Portland. Or the very original Zoologist Bat made by perfumer Ellen Covey and Sultan Pasha’s beautiful classic creations. Scenting these original and well made perfumes introduced me to new worlds and have broadened my olfactory horizons at moments when I needed it most and they still do. I look forward to trying their and many other scented creations this year.
The new year started quite well with Andy Tauers beautiful perfume in a soap smelling of green tuberose and testing many of the latest Italian niche creations at The Scent Company as can been seen on the photograph.
Has perfume helped you get through difficult times? If so which ones helped you most?
Photograph made by Chester.
January 18, 2017 @ 13:58
WOW! Losing Mums is shit, fraught with so much angst and anguish. Hugging you from here darling.
Yeah, whenever the black dog of depression strikes I try to derail the spiral with spritzes of fragrance. It’s surprisingly effective.
Thanks for sharing your story.
January 18, 2017 @ 14:22
Yes it is hard and all those other things, Portia. Thank you, hugs back. Surprising how effective fragrance can be and how much joy it can bring. Xxx Esperanza
Debbie van Manen
January 18, 2017 @ 16:04
I didn’t know Esperanza, how terrible to loose your mother!! My condolences for you. I can imagine perfume gives you comfort and a bit solace. In difficult times all kind of vanilla perfumes give me comfort and ease my pain.
January 18, 2017 @ 17:03
Thank you, Debbie. Yes it is terrible. I can imagine vanilla perfumes giving you comfort and relief as it can be such a comforting note.
January 18, 2017 @ 16:23
Beautiful post, Esperanza. Thank goodness perfume could give you some solace.
Passage d’Enfer has helped me in times of stress.
January 18, 2017 @ 17:00
Thank you, Tara. Yes, thank goodness for perfume although I belief we all find a way to cope with loss. I do not know Passage d’Enfer too well but I remember you mentioning it before.
Joy Hays De Shazo
January 18, 2017 @ 16:37
Since the death of my 26 year old daughter in 2014 perfumes have helped me cope.I like to think I am breathing in these beautiful notes for me and her both.She had only begun to build her scent wardrobe and it was limited to drug store perfumes,or so I thought. She wore scents like Faith Hill ~True, Liz Claiborne~Curve Crush, Ed Hardy Born Wild. Recently I found a bottle hidden in her room of Bijan Black so maybe she was stepping up a tad in her young lifetime.Anyway this obsession with fragrances is helping me feel connected to her in a small way and I’m thankful and grateful I have this.Losing my child feels like a death while I’m still breathing.
Joy Hays De Shazo
January 18, 2017 @ 16:45
The perfumes I feel she would love that are getting me through this are all the sweeties,Lancome-La Vie Est Belle,and a few celebrity scents by Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson, a couple of Niche fragrances by Solstice Scents and DSH.
January 18, 2017 @ 17:08
Hi Joy, I feel with you and I can imagine loosing your daughter feels to you like death while still breathing. Luckily you found some solace in perfumes and a way to connect with her. Hopefully perfumes keep fueling you this way.
Mary ter Heege
January 18, 2017 @ 19:43
I hope 2017 will give you even more joy in testing new perfumes and strength to cope with your mothers death.At my mothers funeral in july 2012 I decided to wear Voyage by Hermes and when my father also unexpectedly died in that same year three days before his 80’birthday I choose the same perfume. For me they ware traveling to another world and it still comforts me when I wear it. a big hug
January 18, 2017 @ 19:54
Dear Mary, what an appropriate choice Hermes Voyage as both your parents were traveling to another world. I am glad it still brings you comfort. 2017 will bring me more joy when testing new scents, I am sure of it! Xxx Esperanza
The Scented Hound
January 18, 2017 @ 19:45
My dear E –
Sorry to hear about your mother’s passing unexpectedly. It’s never easy letting loved ones go…especially when it’s unexpected. Funny, as much as I love perfume, I don’t use it to sooth my senses when times are tough…instead it’s very much a day to day mood application for me. I will say that I do lean towards brighter and lighter scents because they seem sunnier and more positive to me and I like that.
January 18, 2017 @ 19:57
I presume it is never easy to let loved ones go. You should try it, wear perfume to soothe your senses, maybe next Friday 🙂 although I presume it is different for all of us. Xxx, E
January 19, 2017 @ 01:57
I sympathize a lot with your loss. These are things that you just cannot change, do right, make better, so it’s so important to find anything that might make it easier to you. And it’s wonderful if perfume provides you with that outlet for your emotions.
My mom passed away 3 years ago, also unexpectedly, and I still feel her loss acutely. I know that I was wearing perfumes as I was going through the events of that time but I don’t remember what it was. But I remember that the first time after it happened I was able to write something to my blog that connected me, my mother and perfumes – my memories from the childhood. It felt good, like a tribute to her.
Enjoy your hobby for both of you! Keep talking to her in your head. Think of what she’d say about one perfume or the other. Keep mentally choosing perfumes for her. You’ll still feel pain but also it might keep her image more alive and close to you.
Hugs and the warmest wishes to you.
January 24, 2017 @ 12:19
Dear Undina, Thank you very much for your heartfelt comment. I was very moved by it. It is quite another way to deal with loss to keep my mothers memory alive this way. I am not sure if I am up for it at this moment but it is quite another way to deal with her not being here anymore. Hugs, Esperanza
January 19, 2017 @ 01:58
What a beautiful and personal piece, Esperanza. I love hearing about all the ways you use perfumes and what they mean to you. I have never consciously used perfumes this way, but I clearly feel which scent I need whenever I am choosing. So who knows, maybe it does more with my mood that I realise 😉
January 24, 2017 @ 12:20
Dear Henriette, Thank you. I am sure you pick up your perfumes intuitively. 😊
January 23, 2017 @ 00:57
I’m very sorry for your loss. I’ve been meaning to write, have been thinking about this and wanting to reach out. I hope you’ll always feel your mother close to you as I do in a way – couldn’t get by without that, she’s been gone 35 years (can’t believe it still). Is it any wonder I still try to wear the original Miss Dior as she did when I was young – even though I find it hard to get the true scent of it ever now? Of course she moved on to other scents more adventurously, but that will always be a part of me. Wishing you the best, take care
January 24, 2017 @ 13:47
Dear Kim, thank you very much for your comment. I was really moved by it and your reaching out taking time to write your comment. 35 years is a long time, indeed. I can imagine you want to wear Miss Dior Original, it is a fragrance which can be found here most easily of all Dior classics, but that is a small side note. Will keep it in mind and keep some bottles for the future of Beautiful and Miss Dior in case it gets harder to find. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your writing, take care, Esperanza